During this past month, as I have been focusing on my word "patience" the first thing I noticed was how impatient I get over small things and how technology is fighting against me. My phone drives me crazy. If it doesn't do what I want it to do in 2 seconds or less, I am cursing at it and threatening to throw it down the toilet. But then I would have to fish it out and put it in rice and hope all was not lost. My computer is equally annoying when it is slow, or I am trying to learn a new program. Phones and computers are pretty quick these days. So why do I expect them to be even quicker and get impatient when I have to wait say 20 seconds? And why do I expect myself to understand something immediately when I'm dealing with a brand new concept.
Work is even worse for me. In order to pass a medication, I have to deal with three different devices: The computer to look up when the patient had the medication last or if it is currently due; The Pixis where the medication is stored; And a little hand held device that scans the medication and then the patient. With each device I have to enter a user name and pass word, or in the case of the Pixis, my finger print. Each of these pieces of equipment can take their sweet time to boot up, get to right page, etc. etc. The whole process tries my patience and if I am in a hurry, or need the medication very quickly before a patient decides to throw a chair at someone, then my impatience increases and the machines seem to sense this and get even slower. In actuality, the more I try to hurry, the more I press the wrong buttons and the longer it takes.
And where does all this impatience get me? It gets me stressed.
I've been trying to notice the bodily symptoms that accompany this impatience of mine. The tightness in my neck and shoulders. My clenched jaw. All because of what? Because a machine takes a few seconds longer than I think it should?
It seems odd to me that the faster things are, the more impatient I become and I don't think I am alone. I think computers are driving our impatience as a society. We want everything yesterday. Things that should be helping us and our productivity is adding to our stress level. Being impatient increases stress. I don't think we had the same kind of stress before the computer age.
There are other things that cause me stress. Worry about finances, worry about my kids, worry about work, but I think the biggest factor in my stress level is my impatience. And it is something I can actually do something about. So my mantra is "patience in all things". I have been saying that to my self over and over. I am taking deep breaths when the devices are slow. I think it is helping. I think I am becoming more patient or a least aware of my stress caused by my impatience. I am practicing patience.
Tuesday, January 31, 2017
The New Year
Each year I pick a word to focus on to try to improve my life. This is not my idea. The idea belongs to Mike Ascraft originator of One Word. Instead of making a long list of new years resolutions which will be forgotten by February, Ascraft suggests focusing on just one word. "...this process provides clarity taking all your big plans for life changes and narrowing them down into a single focus. Just one word that centers on your character and creates a vision for your future."
I came across Ascraft's website one July. I was immediately intrigued and decided not to wait until the first of the year but to begin immediately. The word I chose was gratitude. I was already into gratitude in a big way. I had kept gratitude journals on and off for years. And in the realm of self help, it was the only idea my oldest daughter Kate and I agreed on. She considered all my other self help adventures to be pyscho babble. She even gave me a book one Christmas parodying the whole genre. It was called One Frog Can Make a Difference, Kermit's Guide to Life in the 90's. Very Funny. I loved it. But she agreed that her friends who could grasp the idea of being grateful for what they had instead of whining about what they didn't have were much better off in life. And even thought I thought I knew all about gratitude, focusing on the word for 6 months gave me new insights.
The second word I chose was "imperfection", a concept much more difficult for me. Like many people I have a self imposed perfectionistic streak. For me it is an excuse to be lazy. If I can't do something perfectly then I won't do it at all. A good example is dieting. If I don't have a perfect day, then I will just eat what ever I want because I've already blown it. The concept, however, impregnates every part of my life. My writing, my photography, my work as a psychiatric nurse, even motherhood. I always thought I could and would be the perfect mother. When I realized quite quickly that this was an impossible endeavor, instead of embracing my imperfection and trying to improve my skills to be the best mother I could be, I simply chastised my self for my failures, not helping anyone. At some point during the year I came across a book written by Carol S. Dweck called Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. The book explained years of banging my head against the wall striving for success and perfection. A discussion for another blog post.
This year, when my oldest sister, Susan, reminded me to pick a word for the new year, the word patience popped into my head and wouldn't leave. I have never been a patient person even as a child. The late, great Carry Fisher once said: "instant gratification is not quick enough," a mantra I've lived by most of my life. And like perfection it permeates every aspect of my being and my life. So this is my blog for the year: practicing patience.
I came across Ascraft's website one July. I was immediately intrigued and decided not to wait until the first of the year but to begin immediately. The word I chose was gratitude. I was already into gratitude in a big way. I had kept gratitude journals on and off for years. And in the realm of self help, it was the only idea my oldest daughter Kate and I agreed on. She considered all my other self help adventures to be pyscho babble. She even gave me a book one Christmas parodying the whole genre. It was called One Frog Can Make a Difference, Kermit's Guide to Life in the 90's. Very Funny. I loved it. But she agreed that her friends who could grasp the idea of being grateful for what they had instead of whining about what they didn't have were much better off in life. And even thought I thought I knew all about gratitude, focusing on the word for 6 months gave me new insights.
The second word I chose was "imperfection", a concept much more difficult for me. Like many people I have a self imposed perfectionistic streak. For me it is an excuse to be lazy. If I can't do something perfectly then I won't do it at all. A good example is dieting. If I don't have a perfect day, then I will just eat what ever I want because I've already blown it. The concept, however, impregnates every part of my life. My writing, my photography, my work as a psychiatric nurse, even motherhood. I always thought I could and would be the perfect mother. When I realized quite quickly that this was an impossible endeavor, instead of embracing my imperfection and trying to improve my skills to be the best mother I could be, I simply chastised my self for my failures, not helping anyone. At some point during the year I came across a book written by Carol S. Dweck called Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. The book explained years of banging my head against the wall striving for success and perfection. A discussion for another blog post.
This year, when my oldest sister, Susan, reminded me to pick a word for the new year, the word patience popped into my head and wouldn't leave. I have never been a patient person even as a child. The late, great Carry Fisher once said: "instant gratification is not quick enough," a mantra I've lived by most of my life. And like perfection it permeates every aspect of my being and my life. So this is my blog for the year: practicing patience.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)